My new(ish) car

My new ride - a Diahatsu Mira Classic. It is in such good condition that the previous owner didn't even remove the plastic protection from the steering wheel logo. I have to say it is a vast improvement on my last car and my students seem thrilled that I am moving up in the world.
 

My meal

I do try not to write to much for fear of boring people with my writing. However, I thought I would just write up a quick post about my meal last night.

One of my favourite meals in Japan is Gyudon. It’s basically fried beef and onions on top of rice. It’s not very fancy and is the meal of choice when you are on the go. It was my very first meal in Japan and I came by it as a result of lucky dip.

After traipsing around Shinjuku us fresh-faced ALTs found a tiny restaurant where you had to buy a ticket from a vending machine, which was then handed to the chef. When my meal arrived, and I have to be honest, it looked awful. I assumed it was some kind of butchered meat on top of rice. The meat was barely identifiable. But this was Japan and I knew it would only get worse from here on with regards to bizarre cuisine.

It was delicious.

Since then I try to grab some wherever I can. I am not aware of anyone in my town who makes it, except for Hotto Motto, whose food isn’t great. So, last night I attempted my own.

It came out very differently but it was delicious none the less. I stole the recipe from a site called Noob Cook, who I like just for their title.  When I got to the till of the supermarket last night with all my ingredients, the friendly cashier (who knows me by now) was obviously very surprised to see the foreigner buying mirin (seriously Japanese cooking staple). I told here I was attempting Gyudon and she was somewhat impressed and checked if I had soy sauce as it was missing from my basket. I assured her I did and then proceeded to check that the beef I had purchased was okay for my grand ambitions. This was then followed by a friendly reminder not to drink and drive (due to the bottle of KWV that she had just rung up).

Ingredients:
200g thinly sliced beef
100ml white wine (I used KWV)
70ml water
70ml mirin
2 Tbsp caster sugar
11/2 onions sliced into half moons.

Directions:
1.    bring water and wine to the boil. Add beef and allow to simmer for a few minutes.
2.    Add sugar, mirin and soy sauce and cover with a lid and again leave it to cook for a few minutes.
3.    Finally add the onions and leave everything to cook until the onions are soft and transparent.

Serve on top of rice.

Mine doesn’t look like much but I assure you it was delicious. It came out a lot darker but I assume it is due to the ingredients I used.

My weekend in the hells

Having my two best friends move to Oita has been great. Asides from the obvious bonus of good, tried and tested company, they are still in the doe-eyed phase where Japan is the most amazing place in the world while I am busy trying to quell my insane road rage.

So this weekend we decided to go foreign. Sunday was spent in Beppu doing the tourist thing. We had intended to take the cable car up the mountain to see the changing maple leaves but when we got there the mist was too heavy, reducing the chance of any photo opportunities. So instead we headed back down the mountain to another of Beppu’s attractions – onsen.

Beppu is the hot spring capital of Japan with the largest number of springs in the country. All of which are considered sacred. In fact, Beppu has the largest volume of hot water in the world after Yellowstone Park in the US. The entire mountainside, when viewed from a distance, is covered in plumes of steam, and when walking through the streets of Kannawa you constantly pass steaming pipes and vents.  This is all very well but because of the sulphur, Beppu has a distinct eggy smell. However the most interesting are the main geothermal hotspots (of impending doom) known as The Hells.

The Hells are a collection of nine hot springs in Beppu. There are seven in the Kannawa district and 2 in Shibaseki. These are not for bathing as the water that comes up here is a toasty 50 to 99.5 °C.  As Wiki travel puts it so eloquently “multicolored volcanic pits of boiling water and mud”. But it is excellent for boiling eggs. In fact, the local trick is to boil eggs in the springs for tourist consumption. I didn’t try one but I got the point.

Kannawa district:
Umi Jigoku – the Sea Hell
Oniishibozu Jigoku – Shaven Monk's Head Hell of boiling mud pools
Shiraike Jigoku – White Pond Hell
Yama Jigoku – Mountain Hell
Kamado Jigoku – Cooking Pot Hell
Oniyama Jigoku – Monster Mountain Hell featuring crocodiles
Kinryu Jigoku – Golden Dragon Hell

Shibaseki district
Chinoike Jigoku – Blood Pond Hell
Tatsumaki Jigoku – Spout (geyser) Hell

The water can range from bright orange to milky white to turquoise. We visited Umi Jigoku, a large turquoise hell, which looks very appealing accept for the jets of steam blasting out from between the rocks.  You half expect dinosaurs to rise up out of the water, due to the distinct Jurassic feel.  Within the Umi Jigoku grounds there is also a small orange spring, which is distinctly more ominous.

I got into trouble with my companions as there is an overwhelming desire to stick ones fingers into random pools of water to see how warm it is. This is a habit that probably shouldn’t be performed in front of small, impressionable Japanese children – especially in front of the “do not touch” signs.

We just stopped at the one spring (¥400) but if you are intending to visit you can get a 9 ticket pass for ¥2000. The Kannawa area has quite a nice walking path between the springs and, of course, there are numerous bathing onsen in the area too.

Pics here

My Kitkat snack time pack

Hokkaido Cafe ole with coffee - a gift from one of my English teachers.

 I also discovered some SA products right here in Oita - including Sally Williams. Happy Day!

New Kitkat day!

Hokkaido Cafe Ole

My Q & A

First off I would like to apologise to my large group of fans for not having posted in a while. To be honest not that much has happened of late and considering it is that phase 2 time of year I have been trying my best not to be too negative.

So on a positive note it was a whole 16 degrees this morning!

Though in all honesty the weather has been amazing. Autumn is still clinging on, despite winter’s best efforts. In fact the weather has been reminding me of the Highveld (and when it rains CT) – clear and cold and sunny. Which doesn't help the homesickness but doesn’t make it worse.

So, while I do love Japan and their postal system, I am having a Phase 2 grump and have compiled a list of the top 3 most disappointing things about this country:

   1. The Sushi
   2. The TV
   3. Technology

The above also happen to be the things I get questioned about the most.   So I have decided to make today question answer day.


Q: So do you eat a lot of sushi? I think if I lived in Japan I would eat sushi everyday.
A: No and no, you wouldn’t.

Sushi in Japan is very different from South African sushi. I would kill for a California roll, or even a hint of avo in my nori. The truth is that most sushi in Japan is actually sashimi. South Africans love the fact that they are so cosmopolitan and LOVE  to go out for sushi. The truth is our sushi is American and pretty timid – a tiny slither* of salmon sandwiched in rice (like a 5 year-old at church between two giant tannies) wrapped seaweed and then drowned in soy sauce. Or, of course, the other Saffer favourite of combining it with copious amounts of avocado. Either way there is very little fish. Few so called “sushi-lovers” order up hard-core sashimi. I know a few brave souls that eat sashimi, but then it is almost always salmon or tuna, which, face it, is soft and delicious.

The sashimi that gets placed in front of me usually consists of a variety of unidentifiable fish. Except for the raw octopus, it’s hard not to recognise the red suckers (and even harder to suck up, chew and swallow). I never knew fish could be crunchy. And if you do go to a conveyor belt restaurant, one in every 20 or so bowls is maki of an identifiable nature. In fact 1 in 5 bowls are not identifiable at all.

This is probably the most frequent and annoying question. I also have this annoying habit of being honest in my answer (see above), which is almost always met with looks of disapproval and a slight hint of “do you know how lucky you are?” This almost always come from the same people that would rather commit seppuku with chopsticks, than have to chew their way through raw octopus.

Call me unappreciative if you wish, but I would kill for a fashion sandwich OD-ing in mayonnaise and avo.


Q: Japanese TV is awesome. Do you watch a lot of TV?
A: No it is not and no I don’t. (Again, looks of shame and disappointment).

Japanese TV is not awesome. Takeshi’s castle may be awesome but Japanese TV doesn’t  equal Takeshi’s Castle. It is also over 20 years old and an excellent example of SABC budgetary powers. Besides I much prefer Most Extreme Elimination Challenge – the comedy dubbed version.

So basically:
Japanese TV ≠ crazy game shows
Japanese TV ≠ anime

A friend, who recently arrived in Japan, was subjected to a torturous month where local Japanese  TV was the only available entertainment (well that and a copy of Twilight, which is like a choice between SABC and Mill’s and Boon)

Japanese local free TV is like the SABC, only with fewer international shows. There are slightly more channels showing a variety of variety shows, historical dramas, adverts and lots and lots of talk shows. They also love to show audience reactions - the preference being something to do with food. My friend saw one that involved some female presenter cooking her favourite dish – from purchase, to boiling and finally consumption. The eating it part being the plucking of the eyeball from the head and scooping out the brains with chopsticks. Still feel like sushi? Oishii yo ne!

There is very little anime on TV, and the game shows are not that exciting. And while I would pay for DSTV in South Africa it is not worth getting satellite here when I have ADSL Telkom can only dream of.


Q: Japanese technology must be awesome. I imagine the gadgets are amazing – and cheap.
A. No. Wrong again.

Technology here is something to behold in its disappointment. Yes there is a lot of it, but it is certainly not cheaper. In fact it is more expensive because almost all of the brands on sale are Japanese. Japanese nationalism says you will not buy international products  - especially anything from China. You will certainly not see a Korean or Chinese car on the road. Friends of mine recently bought a Zojirishi rice cooker. Zojirishi is the Merc of rice cookers. They are pretty expensive. Theirs was a third of the normal price because it was Zojirishi made in China and not Zojirishi made in Japan.

My school still uses floppy discs. One of my school computers is running Windows 7 – the rest run on windows Vista. I had to get permission to use the school projectors with my computer in case I transferred a virus to the projector. Most Japanese people don’t have computers at home and many of them still use dial up Internet. I am pretty sure there are yet undiscovered tribes in the forests of Brazil that have faster ADSL.

My same friend order super high speed ADSL when he arrived here only to find that the hardware provided by the company, as part of the package with the super high speed line, wasn’t even properly equipped to handle the full download speed. 

Japan is not a country I would suggest coming to if you want to buy technology.

My other joy in life is not having Internet banking. By the time I got to the point in my life where I had to pay for stuff, internet banking was up and running. I don’t think I have ever paid rent in any other way. Now, once a month, I have to go to the municipality with my rent slip and pay my rent in person. Every time I have to do a bank transfer I need to ask the only broken English speaker at my bank to help me. Paying off my credit card requires a trip to a store in Beppu to do an ATM deposit. This may seem whiny but just imagine what your life would be like if you didn’t use internet banking for rent, electricity, water, cell phone, DSTV subscription, Telkom, internet, car payments, account payments, bank transfers etc – and no cheating by doing everything at Pick ‘n Pay.

So while it was a bit of a gripe about Japan, it is a still an amazing place and only yesterday I had to catch myself and remind myself what an amazing experience it is. I also wanted to put into perspective that the grass is certainly not always greener, in fact there is very little real grass here because if it is not a rice paddy it is dense spider filled forest.

PS If anyone would like to challenge me to a game of “You’re wrong about the sushi”, I’ll meet you at the local rock pool. Bring your own chopsticks.


*No, that was intentional.

My Automobile Adventures

After 30 hours of airports and planes and being dragged onto the airplane to leave SA, the karma drama seems determined to point out that I should have stayed at home in South Africa where I would have been safe.

The flight from JHB to Hong Kong was packed, as opposed to the half empty flight on my initial return. I was then placed next to a man with the most horrifying halitosis, which further strengthened my resolve never to drink green tea unless I have bamboo shoots planted under my nails. Unfortunately it wasn’t bad enough to make me pass out entirely which would have negated the need for sleeping tablets. At least I still managed to sleep most of the flight.

This was followed by a 6-hour wait at Hong Kong international. I visited HK on my way through and just didn't have the energy (cash) to go back into the city. So instead I became that person who takes about an entire row of chairs in the departures and falls asleep clutching a bag (and in my case 3 vuvuzelas).

After numerous delays and further flights I got to Fukuoka (a name television is determined to mispronounce despite there only being 5 vowels in Japanese), and eventually my hotel cupboard. Finally after trains and cars and cursing of various luggage items I got home.

My  SUPERvisor picked me up from Kitsuki and dropped me at home, but of course not before instilling me with a sense of dread. Her English is exceptional and this includes a grasp of typical English bad news delivery.

SUPERvisor: “About your house…”

ME: “Don't tell me I am going to have to move.”

SUPERvisor: *nervous embarrassed laughter*

Queue rising panic

ME: “The floor has collapsed. It’s full of spiders and mukade. Seriously I am not going to have to
move am I?”

SUPERvisor: “No the weeds in your garden are huge”

Extreme embarrassment followed with visions of needing a machete to make it to the front door.

At least this I had expected. Though apparently the weeds are visible from the road, which is an embarrassment to me but also reflects on the school. In the end the outside was what I have come to expect of shrubbery in Japan in summer. The vines have taken over a bit leading to nasty imagery from that not so classic B horror The Ruins.

The house was entered in the usual summer arachnid awareness manner – peering through doors and checking the walls before entering a room. Luckily there were none in sight. Yet. Luckily I had bribed Furiida and Roland to come around with the promise of internet and a live stream of the Athlone towers demoltion,  as a cunning plan to have Roland deal with the vicious intruders.

It was only after my SUPERvisor left that I discovered the new indoor low maintenance garden that had developed in my 4 week absence. In the time I had been gone, and again strengthening my Ruins fears, a vine had grown through my floor and up through the tatami. I have enough issues with the insect life without the vegetation moving in too. The real fear is how it managed to get through and there is no WAY in Dante’s 7 levels of hell that I am going to lift up the tatami to explore.

At least there were no spiders. Well not until 1am where the biggest one ever magically appeared in my bathroom as I was about to go to bed. Its body was the size of a 50cent coin, and with legs combined, easily bigger than the palm of my hand. It was hastily dispatched with mukade spray and a broom, though being a bit bigger than usual I had to use a lot more spray. This one was resilient.

Adrenaline was the last thing I needed to combine with fear and insomnia and I ended up getting about 5 hours sleep - 3 of those between 6 and 9am. At least I didn't need to go to school, as I was required in Oita to give a presentation to the newbies.

Then the car wouldn’t start. Again expected but I managed to get it going. It may be well in its late teens but it has the best air-conditioning of any car I have yet to encounter – which is a necessity in 30+ degree heat.

I made it to Oita station to the second to collect Roland, my assistant and tourist of the day. So at least I am coming out of African time. Presentation was fine and there are a lot more new ALTs compared to last year. I then took Roland shopping and showed him some useful, and sometimes unnecessary, shopping spots later heading to the all you can eat and drink welcome party.

Having had no sleep and yet somehow looking like a functioning human, I fully intended to be home by 9 and in bed by 10. However, apparently Karma and Murphy have recently met and waged war on me – as if homesickness wasn't enough.

We hadn’t left the ferris wheel parking arcade when Furiida brings up the topic of the JAS (Japanese AA) curse and how many a young and trusting ALT has fallen victim. Now Buta already had trouble starting up in the morning and the right flicker has magically begun flicking at double the speed of the left. I was tempted to say that she had just cursed Buta to an early demise but thought saying it out loud would cause it to happen.

Apparently Karma and Murphy can read minds.

Buta is currently lying in a coma at the Book Off parking lot. Attempts will be made later today to resuscitate him and possibly take him off life support. While there seems to be some life, the lights just won’t come on.

We honestly had not been in the store 5 minutes, when we emerged from my guide to Japan’s second hand Louis Vuitton and furniture underground. I attempted to engage Buta but only to be met with complete nothingness. The lights on flickered a bit but the engine refused to acknowledge the attempt. We happened to be next to a really friendly Japanese family with 4 (possibly more) kids in their van who attempted to help us although we couldn’t communicate through language.

Buta was thus abandoned to his fate and we began our groot trek to the closest train station. So ladled with shopping and computers we headed up Route (pronounced root) 10 in the hope that the train station wasn’t too far. At this point we looked like complete hobos, as Furiida had removed her shoes due to blister – in a country where slip slops are not worn in public – and carrying our yellow checkas as well as a pillow. At least

We had to stop every couple 100m to check we hadn’t missed the station and each time we were met with polite directions followed by laughter and giggles – we presume at Furiida’s bare feet. In SA no one would have looked twice at us, and then not many people did really. Luckily Beppu is full of foreigners at APU so we just pretended to Amurkans so as not to totally destroy the already fragile South African name.

We had to take 2 trains. The first for 1 station and the second finally got us to Froland’s Japanese apartment. I am still shaky about timetables and Roland did much running to check that we were indeed on the right platforms and that we had the times correct.

I managed to borrow ouma from Froland and finally, after much disaster and eventual exhaustion, managed to get home and into bed. It was in the end a pretty fun adventure, but like most the cleanup is the worst.

Oh and the irony in all this: people keep giving me petrol money.

*facepalm*

UPDATE:
Buta has had a heart transplant and running fine. The indoor vines are doing well - 3 at the last check.

Salty Caramel

It got a bit melted - but still delicious!

My Tea Ceremony Lesson

Last week I was invited by one of my favourite students to accompany here to a tea ceremony. For some reason I got it into my head that it would be taking place at a temple and had something to do with the national holiday occurring that day (in retrospect this was a giant leap as it was in fact Marine Day). Any who, it turned out that I was in fact accompanying her and another of my students to their tea ceremony lesson.

Now the tea ceremony is pretty old and very traditional and requires the memorizing of countless steps. I am not going to go into it as that is what Wikipedia and Google are for. On the one occasion that I had attended a tea ceremony – at my school’s cultural festival – I wasn’t made quite aware of what it requires. It was only in the presence of my students and my teachers that I realised who detailed it is.

As a guest I was provided with a fan (that I didn’t use) and entered the tatami room following the teachers lead. I had to bow to the wall hanging, then to a fake flower basket and then to the wall hanging again. I then proceeded to cross the floor in a diagonally before walking towards the area where the host prepares the tea. I bowed/looked at the hot water maker and then bowed/looked at the tea and proceeded to my designated spot with my decorative fan. (I am not sure about whether I was meant to bow or just acknowledge it’s existence but in the end no one, including the tea, was too offended.)

My student, Momoe, then started the tea ceremony. As it was just a practice she wasn’t wearing any of the usually dramatic clothes but I did enjoy the way in which she, and the others, still shuffled kimono style in and out of the room.

Every move for the preparation seemed to have a method. Things had to be picked up with the correct hand and specifically positioned.  Near the end things had to be moved around and placed before being replaced to allow for the placement of something else. At one point the water scoop holder had to be put on a stand so that a bowl could be moved near it so that it could then be put  in the bowl and then put on the stand again exactly far enough so that the host doesn’t have to reach for it.

It really is as bizarre as it sounds. 

At least the consuming of liquids and snackage I managed to get vaguely right. But even just being a guest has its rituals. I was provided with paper on which to place my okashi. It consisted of a wad of sheets folded in half. To use it I had to fold the top sheet backwards so that the fold was facing me. This meant that once I had finished using the chopsticks to pick up my delicious snack I could fold the corner over the chopsticks and wipe them clean.

They were all very impressed when I knew how to turn my bowl clockwise before drink the tea. But that was as far as I got impressing anyone. My only other shining moment was when I managed to eat and hold down the only thing worse than natto in Japan. Not even my students managed. By the time we got to the teachers demonstration we had finished the delicious marshamallow-like, jelly type snacks and she brought out a very traditional, old school version of natto. I didn’t realised there was a stage further in fermentation. I am not sure what it involves but it includes violating it with miso and the result was like eating chocolate beef stock. Momoe didn’t even try it and Kanako was barely able to swallow.

My grasp on the whole process is still as loose as Buta’s suspension but it was fascinating to attend a class. It provided much more incite to exactly how precise the whole business is. Had it just been the usual drink, eat and leave scenario it wouldn’t have been half as informative.

I do suggest you try the tortured natto, it is certainly one to add to the list.

My new flavours...

At least there are new flavours in the world - Strawberry Cranberry and Combination Cola and Lemonade

All I need is 8 minutes of your time

A friend sent me this link. It's a short time lapse journey through Japan. What I quite like about it is that it avoids a lot of the stereotypical Japan shots - except one or two cause you can't ignore Shibuya crossing.

Intermission: A Time Lapse Journey Through Japan

It is really worth taking 8 minutes out of your day to watch.

My future Ferrari

I am not quite sure how I feel about this:

Hello Kitsch: Ferrari 360 Owner Takes 'Hello Kitty' Love to Nauseating Extremes

 If I don't go with the Ferrari there are always the Mercs.

Kitkat Diaries 2.0

I think the friendly folk of my local 7/11 think I am a bit of a Kitkat junkie. I have recently been bleeding them dry of their stock in anticipation of my trip home. Yesterday, after getting on my knees, to scratch through the party packs I discovered Blueberry and on top of that the latest in dark chocolate - Bitter Almond.

Here in my car I feel safest of all

This week I experienced my most terrifying and nerve destroying test in Japan – my Japanese drivers license. I was scared and terrified going in, what with the masses of personal experience stories from previous JETs swirling about in my head like a typhoon.

“I failed 7 times and it took all my leave.”

“I failed because I forgot to check my mirror once.”

“I was perfect. They failed me cause I smiled.”

Like most driving tests it doesn’t test your ability to drive, it tests your ability to pass a test. So those of us unfortunate foreigners that have to take the test instead of just get our license translated, are subjected to sometimes days of stress, panic and, of course, the ritual humiliation of the traffic department.

Firstly, I should have done this when I arrived instead of waiting. That way I could have planned my nenkyu. My biggest fear of all this was not having to pay ridiculous amounts of money to do the test, or driving 2 hours to Oita, it was the slow annihilation of my leave. I could see my holiday back to SA getting shorter and shorter. Anywho, it came to the point where I could avoid it no longer.

My poor supervisor spent ages on the phone making reservations, organising translations and setting up my test date. I would have to go to the centre and complete an interview, eye test, short written test and finally the driving part. I had hoped to go for some lessons before hand so as to get to know the course, which I already had memorised. This idea came to a grinding, clutch burning stop when the price tag turned out to be ¥30 000 – or R2800. I chose rather to fail 7 times than pay that amount to be told when to yoshi.

Once I had my test date it was time to study. I Hermione-d the test. I can still recite the whole thing in my head. This of course would be half the battle – if you were in the middle of a food fight. The driving part of the test takes place on a closed circuit. So it in no way simulates the real world, which affirms my belief you are passing a test not proving you can drive.

The horrific day finally arrived. I drove to Oita and got there in time to walk the course. This gave me some confidence. The crank (two scary 90 degree turns) looked intimidating but otherwise I was feeling good.

Interview time.

I ended up being interviewed by the nicest guy, who taught me some secrets of the South African driving license and confirmed that it was in fact legal. He scrutinised every single stamp in my passport to make sure that I had been in South Africa 3 months after obtaining my license.

I passed everything; I am a stressor so I eve panicked about the written test. I only needed to get 7 out of 10 to pass, but who wants to fail that. I could have passed using common sense but I was glad to have my copy of the Japanese road rules – even if it was just to see the interesting diagrams and guides to the impact of driving your car off a 60-story building.

So after the nice man had finished telling me not to be nervous and how good it would feel when I actually passed the test, it was time to wait. And it is the waiting that gets you.

Now the centre is a nice new building – concrete and glass etc – and reminds me of your general international airports with all the same signage, typefaces and people milling about. Only it has none of the exciting holiday feeling and all the anticipation of a lobotomy with a chainsaw. The worst thing was this warning buzzer that randomly went off. I swear it was stolen from Jurassic Park. Every time I heard it I had images of T-Rexs being let loose from their cages. I think it is all part of the plan to destroy your confidence.

Then I met Kai, a Japanese guy who was doing his test for the 6th time. If you are doing our test then avoid these people! While it was nice to ask him some questions, he proceeded to terrorise me his own personal tragedies and insights into which instructors are nice and which are mean, who else was trying for the 7th time. Eventually he left to do his test and I was alone in the waiting room attempting to regain my composure.

I found half of it. Or at least the shell, which rapidly cracked like a plumber bending over once I got into the car. Now if I had done this test in Eeyore or Buta it would have been okay. Instead they insist you drive these large mafia-esque black taxi things that turn like an oil tanker.

The examiner knew I had not driven the course before and took me around once, showing me what to do. Then it was my turn. It’s much easier in your head. It went reasonably well to be honest – for a first attempt. In the end it was the crank that got me. I was not prepared for that, and as I did in my first driving test ever I hit a pole. Automatic fail.

In the end the examiner said I managed well, despite not having driven the course before. I just needed to do my checks sooner. He did suggest that I take some lessons but when I told them the price, even he agreed it was pricey.

Luckily in order to take the test again I just had to show up at the centre. They keep all the paper work and details for you – our traffic department could take lessons – so no 6-month waiting list. In fact the test more people in the space of 2 hours than the traffic departments manage in a day.

So after admitting defeat I decided the best thing to do was to return the next day and try again while the horror was fresh in my mind.

Day 2 and after donning my lucky ducky undies, I sheepishly showed up at the centre again to be greeted by the nice man who had nothing but sympathy for my plight. After filling in all the necessaries I began the waiting game again and was kept company by Kai and the Chinese couple. Again.

Kai didn’t help my reoccurring nerves by telling me how he did the course perfectly the day before but the examiner failed him anyway. I learned later that he had also argued with the examiner over his test which any decent troll of the interwebs will tell you is worse than crashing the car. Everything I read said to be polite and as gracious and as apologetic as possible for every mistake. Use your “onegaishimasu” and “arigatou.” A strategy, which I maintain, was key to my eventual success – that and, of course, doing the confidence dance.

Unless you are a fan of Cougar Town you will not be acquainted with the confidence dance. It works. Before my test I headed to the empty bathrooms and proceeded to find my courage by doing the confidence dance in front of the mirror. I just changed my mind soundtrack to safety dance for the occasion and I will swear by it in the future.

Although I was empowered by my mirror moves there were still some nerves. No one had passed yet that day and it was looking bleak. Though in retrospect this may have meant they had quotas to fill.

My name was then called by the examiner that Kai had labelled as “mean.” Though by now I was starting to doubt the validity of his advice. My legs shook on the clutch like Lindsey Lohan after 10 minutes without a drink. I am still not sure how I got around the course. All I know is that I got through the crank and only had to reverse once. I didn’t miss any checks and I managed to keep to the left. I honestly am not sure, and don’t quite believe, that I passed.

As I pulled up to park, I was already trying to think of ways to save my precious leave without having my holiday home reduced to a week. It was at this point that the examiner said “congratulations”, shook my hand and some things in Japanese about me please driving safely in future. I did say thank you but I wasn’t too sure I was hearing him right and questioned him repeatedly to make sure. He just smiled and laughed at my incessant thanks and need for affirmation. I also had to hold on to all my Japanese-ness not to hug him. In fact the nice man up stairs even asked if I had, after congratulation me on my success.

Everyone was so nice about me passing, even the lady at the till said congratulations. They were so pleasant that driving home I felt as though I had to make them proud and prove my worth as a good driving citizen, which I will endeavour to do.

After another 90 minute wait I was handed my brand new, shiny license that comes standard with awful photograph of no choice. I was still terrified however that on my way out that they would tell me they made a mistake and take it away. In fact I am still waiting for that call.

Advice for future victims:
1. Be nice. Be polite. Be humble and practice grovelling. Make friends.
2. Know the test. Let it be the last thing you think about at night. Drive it in your head.
3. Be overly cautious – even if the examiner laughs at you for checking under your car from every angle.
4. Wear your lucky undies and do your confidence dance. Never underestimate the power of the force.


--
Emma Gernetzky
http://jetsetducky.blogspot.com/

Aloe Aloe

Don't get me wrong, I love aloes. As a wild coast local aloe practically runs in my blood.
I love it in my sunburn soother and body products. I just don't think it has a place in my chocolate.

Aloe yoghurt

Maneki Neko Dakku まねきねこダック

Aflac Insurance have these adverts in Japan featuring a dancing duck and cat. They are so popular that a full length version of the song was released - complete with music video. The animals are fake and cheesy but it is cute and the song can be really catchy. I just love how it is completely acceptable (and expected almost) for things to be cute, even when aimed at adults - because I am pretty sure it is not the kids buying insurance in these ads.

Aflac ad
Music video

Kitkat Diaries

So my favourite things so far about Japan has been discovering the crazy Kitkat flavours. I have been here about 9 months and already I have come across nearly 45 different flavours. I found this flowchart that pretty much sums up my experience:
What should I eat?

My hunt has lead me across the country, scouring combinis and omiyage stands from Hokkaido to Okinawa. This is what I have found so far:

Framboise

Caramel Macchiato McFlurry &Apple

 StrawberryCarrot and AppleJasmine TeaInako Ohagi (sticky rice and bean jam)Ginger Ale

Spring StrawberryMilk CoffeeSakura MachaRaspberry & Passion FruitSemi-sweetChocolate CookieVanilla CookieLamune/RamuneMango PuddingOrangeRoseRoyal Milk TeaCalpis SodaCaramel PuddingBanana

Citrus & ChiliPurple Sweet PotatoSoy SauceHiroshima Citrus BlendStrawberry Cheesecake WasabiHokkaido MelonHokkaido Corn

Sweet Potato

Kinako (Soybean flour)Macha (Green tea)Caramel PuddingBananaHalloween CaramelRilakkuma Strawberry

Cayenne PepperLittle Strawberry